Running and Chasing. If you are in a twin flame connection, you will have heard of it.
What it is? It is a cycle: a pitfall, a phase, and sometimes an unfortunate reality of the twin flame connection all in one. If you are stuck in it, you know it.
If you are a chaser, it is painful and overwhelming. Interestingly, if you are a runner, you are stuck as much as the chaser. This pattern, at times, seems like an inexorable painful dance. But it is a pattern that relies on both of you to perpetuate it. However, it only takes one of you to end it. Often we find ourselves in one role, in particular. But as twins you are mirrors, so you would contain both aspects of the runner and chaser within you. So how to stop it it permanently is to heal the runner AND chaser in you. But as a first step, it is imperative that you stop outwards manifestation of this pattern with the only person whose actions you have any control over: YOU.
In my practice, right now I am working with a lot of outwards chasers. If you identify with being in the chaser role, this is role where you want to connect with your twin so baldy it consumes you and you find yourself becoming relentless in the pursuit of your twin and doing things you never thought you would in pursuit of an elusive goal.
First know, that I am in no way being unkind to people stuck in the chasing role. I know it can be excruciating. And please know, if you find yourself reluctantly discovering yourself as a chaser, know that you are most likely the most advanced in your twin pair. You are aware of the connection and all of its possibilities. But you may also be stuck in an old template or outmoded idea of what relationship that connection should take. Being a twin flame requires so much of us at times but it also includes flexibility and the willingness to step out of any limiting beliefs and boxes. It also requires you to allow your twin the freedom to do the same. And while this can seem insurmountable at times, the more we embrace our healing paths, the more you can embrace the joy and possibility of this powerful connection, the more you are ultimately taking steps towards achieving that blissful union within yourself. As within so without.
But in the meantime, here are few suggestions on how to cultivate relief and peace within yourself and to stop the chase once and for all.
How to Stop Chasing:
- Acknowledge that chasing isn’t working. Whether you have been in this pattern 1 day or 1 month or 10 years. It isn’t working. If it was, you would have not only ‘caught’ your twin but be in relationship with him or her. This approach is almost never successful, except perhaps, on the school ground at recess in the distant or not too distant past.
- Stand Still. This person may be your twin. This connection may be real. It most likely is. But trying to force a relationship isn’t working. Understand that you have nothing to prove. In fact, the fact that the person you think is your twin is running does not mean this person is not your twin. But chasing won’t change his or her mind. It won’t give him or her an epiphany. Quite the opposite. It will just re-enforce his or her fear or aversion. So stop chasing. How? You stop this by respecting your twin’s boundaries. If he or she has told you it’s not happening. Listen to whatever reasons he or she provides. It could be any one of the following: He/she doesn’t feel the love or is in another relationship. Or your meeting has been a catalyst and has brought up too much all at once. It is often true that one person feels this connection more strongly. One twin can be triggered into fear, denial, and shutting down. One twin just may be more empathetic. Over time this can switch. But for right now, in my work, it is often the divine feminine.
- Understand that this is a connection first and foremost and not everyone is meant to come into relationship as part of his or her union. In my experience, as we grow and evolve how union is meant to show up is transforming. Some people have ‘been there done that’ and came here to have a working or mission based connection. Or to create a new kind of compromise or relationship that looks completely different and that can take time. It simply may not fit into our traditional love relationship framework that you may be looking for. Twins are here to redefine love and break down boundaries to it. This is a journey into unconditional love which is so enriching. But understand that there may not be a map for what that will look like and it may take flexibility and compromise. That doesn’t mean that it can’t evolve into something profound and meaningful. But your twin might not be as ready as you are to embrace it. So do NOT force it.
- Honour your twin’s truth. The twin flame connection is a journey that can be overwhelming. Sometimes it is just too much too soon. But if your twin has communicated he or she needs space and to not be in any relationship, then listen. There are all kinds of reasons why this might be the case. Sometimes one twin’s emotional body becomes saturated and he or she needs down time or periods away from the intensity a twin can stir up.
- Speak your truth. When you are in a state of balance, and this is key, share your truth with your twin. Listen to your intuition on how much information you provide, but trust that on a soul level your twin already knows everything you are sharing. However, know that if your twin is indeed a runner, this is rarely a game changer in the short term. But it does give you a sense of clarity and closure. And if you speak from a place of compassion and detachment, it can over time shed valuable light for a twin who is running. Being direct is so much better than using back channels. Be prepared to give him or her time to process. It unfolds so much more smoothly if you call on Archangel Gabriel, the angel of communication for assistance with this conversation.
- Move into a state of acceptance–which means you need to respect his or her boundaries without bitterness. Yes, I know that can be a tall order. But this period is a great time for you to work on you, on self love, on what your twin’s rejection brings up for you. It is also a fertile time to explore your own awakening and the gifts that emerge from this. If your twin has said no contact, or he or she needs a break. You need to give them that without undermining it. Trust that your twin is capable of growth and that you need to give him or her the benefits of his or her own learning. Otherwise, she or he may need to repeat the pattern to learn and benefit.
- Don’t attempt to manipulate the situation. Don’t assume that your twin is wrong. Don’t assume that you know better. Don’t work things behind the scenes through other players. The truth is that while you have the same soul signature, you are different people, often of different genders, with different ancestral histories and experiences for a reason. She or he may need a different process or to experience a relationship to help him or her heal. So look after you. Do your own energy healing work address your own shadow aspects. Do connect with other high level twins and twins who have already grown through this experience. When things are aligned to move forward, trust helpful people will show up. This is different then trying to influence the situation through back channels. Twins always feel this as undermining.
- Go deeper into your own self awareness. Understand that you are a trigger when you chase. Your twin is triggered by so many things, but a lack of control is one of them. Yes, control is an illusion and the journey is all about moving into divine surrender. But you need to give him or her his unique process. At the same time, embracing your own healing and spiritual growth impacts everything. You are a mirror for your twin in all ways. So if it is in your twin. Guess what? It is also in you. Find the opportunity to do your own healing. You are so often in parallel. If one twin is in a dark night of the soul, you may experience your own.
- Acknowledge the Runner In You. Right now you are stuck in chasing mode. But guess what? We typically have both within us and this relates to early childhood bonding wounds and whether we are anxious or avoidant bonders. Most likely there are triggers in your twin which could also cause you to run. So finding inner peace and moving into your own state of divine surrender is what it is all about. Inner child healing is so important for twins to resolve this state which stems from bonding wounds. So please find a light worker who both understands twins and incorporates inner child work. Here is a link to a twin flame inner child healing audio. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUcJHN-FxYw&t=82s.
- Find detachment. This is work. This takes time. But finding this space, whether through mindfulness meditation, through spiritual practice, through energy healing, through prayer, through going deep into your own wounding from a place of self love is part of the reason you are both here. Twin flames are healers of the collective. They share an energy body that allows them to hold copious amounts of light. But calling your own power back and doing what you can to not enter a state of co-energy dependency is so helpful.
- Don’t reject the connection. So many twins react to the rejection of the runner by becoming runners themselves. They attempt to radically rip apart from the twin and as you share a third energy, this is so detrimental. So be careful not to descend to the level of your twin. This perpetuates the self loathing and nothing fertile grows from this state. Can you find the love and compassion for what your twin may be going through? Can you hold yourself in that love and compassion as well?
- Be Kind To Yourself. The twin connection is such a new experience. More and more twins are being born together on the earth as we enter the third wave of ascension. But in previous years this was quite rare. The twin connection can throw you on an accelerated path of awakening of soul searching and a dark night. You have done nothing wrong. When you know better, do better.
- Be open to the possibilities. Twins are instant manifestors. When and IF your twin is ready to connect, it will happen as long as you are not shut down in a state of resentment or wounding. Being vulnerable, allowing yourself to feel is why we are here. There is so much angelic and spiritual support. I see in my practice that twins are surrounded in love.
- Call in the love right now. Sometimes we think we only want love from our twin. But, really? Love is great. Call it in, clear the blocks from receiving it into your life and knowing you are worthy. Guess what? This boosts your vibration. Guess what? This helps you heal, move forward, and feel so much better. Guess what? This makes you fall in love with you and other people take that lead.
- Embrace your twin flame mission. You are here for a divine life purpose. You are here to shine. You can work on your twin flame mission solo. Embracing your mission by taking small aligned steps and by taking risks to go bigger, lights up your energy, and makes you more magnetic to joy, to abundance, and to your twin. When you take steps on your mission, you are no longer chasing your twin you are moving forward in divine alignment. You are not running or chasing. You are flowing with the universe and this is the state of twin flame union, this is the divine flow. And, ultimately, this connects us all within it.