The twin flame connection is a connection first and foremost.
What does that mean?
Sometimes we assume our twin flame connection is meant to take the form of a traditional relationship. Sometimes it can and will. But in my experience, every union is unique and the shape it takes on our earth plane reflects that.
If you are a twin flame you are on an accelerated path of growth and this can be incredible but a little or a lot daunting. En route, it can be easy to fall out of balance on this epic soulful journey.
What other forms can it take?
Sometimes a twin flame union can be founded in friendship and remain in a beautiful friendship while you both have other romantic partners. Sometimes it takes the form of a collegial or work based relationship of affinity and the pair uses their shared energy for incredible transformation. Truly this connection stretches us and our very definition of unconditional love. That love is an inwards journey into self love and into union with you and your source. The twin flame union process outwardly mirrors this inner union process. You don’t ‘need’ it to move into spiritual union, but in my experience, we are meant to be in a loving relationship and and a loving relationship with your twin flame brings through the energy of heaven on earth which is why it is so magnetic.
In the process of becoming, twin flame union takes us deep into our wounding. This requires patience, flexibility, and a willingness to grow spiritually. The twin flame journey is a spiritual path of self discovery. So it is always good to check in with assumptions you may be making about how this complex and powerful connection may grow and evolve because you are growing and evolving along the way. And this is a two way street, one soul but two bodies and two unique sets of life experiences. Once you become conscious of this connection, it launches you onto an accelerated path of growth. But sometimes one or both of you needs breaks or to step off the twin flame path. Sometimes your twin can’t keep up or vice versa. This connection brings up so much and can take us deep into our emotional basement. Sometimes we can find ourselves getting stuck. Sometimes it feels a little or a lot like drowning. So please don’t lose heart if you find that you need to make some changes. This connection is intense and can be overwhelming, so it’s important to evaluate your balance and well being and to give yourself “check ins” a long the way. Give yourself a pat on the back for how far you have come to be here in the first place.
You will most likely spend time soul searching and seeking. Some things you discover will resonate and some won’t. I always say take what resonates and discard all else. You will have periods of profound growth and other periods of inwards quiet. But this connection is never meant to diminish you or keep you stuck waiting for years for a relationship or move you into desperation. It should never cause you to compromise yourself, your integrity, or your truth. Because you are two people, you can never force your twin to heal but have to allow for his or her process. It is not your job to heal for your twin. If that was the case you wouldn’t have two bodies. Sometimes it just isn’t meant to be for now and when that is the case detaching from the situation is key. The question becomes how can you be ok with that? And sometimes there is another love waiting. So please don’t try to force yourself into set phases or expressions of that love. Being truthful, kind, and loving to yourself throughout this process is essential.
I have comprised a list of red flags to identify if you have stalled in your journey to union or are sinking into crises. Please go through this list below and be honest. No one is looking over your shoulder except you (and a whole bunch of angels who who want to be helpful). Know that I am not judging you. We are all learning on this path and that includes me. On my journey as a Twin Flame Healer and Teacher, I have seen remarkable miracles take place, so many, in fact, that is part of why I love my job. For example, I have seen twins unite when it seems like that was the last possibility. I have also been inspired when a twin flame accepts separation as incredible opportunity for self growth on his or her mission individually. This can be a profound catalyst for you stepping into your mastery which is an incredible win for both you and the universe.
But I have also seen people getting stuck waiting and holding on to a fixed idea of what union should be, when letting go of the past and allowing what will be has the potential for a beautiful and joyful outcome. Sometimes this is exactly what we planned or intended. It is heartbreaking when one twin puts everything on hold or becomes so single minded about achieving union and so gets pulled out of balance to the point of compromising his or her emotional balance and well being. While someone may be a twin flame, it does not mean that he or she owes you or must give up a life that is working for him or her.
12 Red Flags You Are Out of Balance on Your Twin Flame Journey
- You think all angel numbers relate to your twin flame or mean your union is eminent. Repeating number sequences like 111, 1111, 333, 555, 777. all have distinct meanings and are meant to encourage you. They hold ascension light codes and will activate your inner self and your intuitive awareness. However, they don’t all relate to your twin flame union. A lot of numbers pertain to you looking after yourself first and foremost and or/to your spiritual connection. If you love angels, that is fabulous. But they are always encouraging you to give yourself care and to live your life with integrity. Sometimes, when your twin flame’s name shows up, there may be a message that involves acceptance and taking time out in separation. So the message may not be to keep pursuing your twin flame union in the way you have been but to make a change. Repeating number sequences turn up for all of us twin or not. Sometimes I see people trying so hard to glean a twin flame message out of a number sequence, when it can mean something completely different. So it always great to seek clarification about your interpretation of a message. If you are unsure what a number sequence means and think it may be a twin message, ask for a confirmation. And if you don’t get a confirmation then that is a sign you may be off in your interpretation. No sign is a sign.
- You keep moving your boundaries to accommodate your twin. The twin flame connection is a dance and it brings up so much, but if you find your boundaries continually shifting to accommodate your twin. If you keep breaking commitments to yourself and others for your twin, then you are losing sight of yourself. The truth is your twin flame’s higher self always wants the best for you and always respects you. So should your human twin. What I find is that it is even more important to expect your twin to respect you and vice versa. If this is your twin flame, he or she would want you to respect and honour yourself because you are essentially one soul in two bodies. If you don’t respect yourself, your twin feels it on a soul level. If you are unsure if this is you, give yourself a mini test. Set a boundary that is healthy and check in to see if you shift it. If you do, you may need to take time apart to re-evaluate. Energy healing is essential and setting energetic boundaries can really help with this.
- You can’t respect your twin’s boundaries. If your twin says no. Please listen. There’s a reason. Sometimes periods apart are helpful. But even if someone is your twin, it doesn’t meant that he or she must conform to your expectations about what your relationship should be. There is no twin flame rule book. There is always free will choice and that is part of why we are here. There is a saying that I listen to and that is ‘the nos’ win. Meaning if your twin isn’t into engaging with you, if she or he says no, not now, no thanks, then its time to call your power back and move on. This is different than rejecting your twin. This can be painful, I know, but it is an opportunity to do your own healing work and emerge stronger, wiser, and clearer. Your twin is drawn to you when you are in balance and standing in your own power. It is easy to fall into co-dependence with your twin, if you aren’t sure, give her or him a little space and freedom. This may be challenging but this is a gift that allows both of you to breathe and also provides great opportunity to bring in higher perspective.
- You are obsessively thinking about your twin flame. You do share a powerful energetic connection or “third energy” but if you can’t stop thinking about your twin period, it is time to call your power back. Sometimes twins’ mental bodies can merge and it becomes hard to separate your thoughts from your twin’s. I call it ‘brain fuse’ and it looks like your brains are overlapping energetically. Finding a twin flame aware energy healer or counsellor is so helpful. This relates to creating healthy boundaries again. So regularly clearing your mental body and becoming aware of where your energy begins and ends is so very necessary.
- You are engaging in destructive behaviour. Cyber stalking, stalking, shaming, or behaviours that you would consider compromising to you or that are born out of desperation are a sign that you may have lost your self and your inner balance. If you are engaging in any thing you would consider unsafe, or toxic if done to you, stop and give yourself a period to reflect. Check in with an honest friend and professional. I know it can be a slippery slope. So don’t beat yourself up. Just STOP. I know this is painful but seek help. Know that you will grow as a result and will be able to empower someone else in a similar situation.
- You catch yourself being dishonest to others about your actions or motivations. The truth is never more important than in a twin flame connection. In fact, I find, the truth is essential. This connection will test your truthfulness and your integrity. If you are being dishonest about your behaviour, your feelings, or a situation, this is a red flag. Please know I am not judging. It takes strength to acknowledge when you have lost your way and you are most likely acting out of your own wounding. This is concerning because it means you may be experiencing shame. Shame is such a low vibrational emotion and hurts you so deeply. It prevents your growth. Over time, your perception may be distorted. This gets worse if you begin lying to yourself. Working with someone who is twin flame aware to help you ground and balance your energy is essential. Sharing your truth with a friend or loved one is another essential here. If your twin flame is shaming you or making you feel shame get out ASAP. If you find you wear a mask and have different levels of truth for different people, it is also time to check in and rediscover your truth. While you don’t need to share everything with everyone and it’s true many people will not understand the nature of the twin flame connection if they are unfamiliar, you do need to put a stop to lying to cover the truth. Again, this hurts you most. As a clairvoyant, when I see someone who is lying to themselves his or her auric field looks dark and so very sad.
- You give your power away to a psychic, to a group, or to internet information which promises fixed phases or outcomes. At any given point there are about 5 different timelines available and so multiple future paths. Psychics tend to read the path that is clearest to them, not necessarily the path that is most aligned to you and or your twin. Freewill is also a powerful ingredient. Twins are powerful manifestors and, in my experience, can change timelines and outcomes rapidly. Walk away from anyone who says they have definite answers for you. When trauma is triggered in a twin then can, at times, act out or make impulse decisions to pull away or, conversely, to re-engage. The twin flame journey is an inner journey. It is about you, your growth, and embracing your own inner and outer union with God/Source. So ultimately this is about trusting your own wisdom.
- You are stuck in the past. If your twin proposed 5 years ago, that is true, it happened. But it is also over. People change their minds. Twins can move into polarity or opposition when triggered. And circumstances change. You have to accept that if you are wanting to recreate the past or holding your twin to the past, it isn’t going to happen. It is not your job to wait on a past promise or to try to force an outcome in the present based in the past. This often activates the ‘runner chaser’ programming in a twin pair. It is your job to heal what is coming up preventing you moving forward on your own path. Moving forward on your own purpose connects you with your Twin Flame mission and your twin feels this. It is such a positive on all levels. So do whatever you can to release the past, being compassionate with yourself in the process. But note, that while compassion means self care and looking after yourself, it does not mean indulging in activities that bi-pass your personal growth.
- You maintain a professional client or patient relationship as the sole means of seeing your twin. I see this and it is a huge mistake. It is a really common way for twins to meet and is often when the first heart awakening happens. However, in my experience it quickly limits the possibilities of the relationship becoming personal if it continues. So, you need to terminate the professional relationship because there is a status difference and it re-enforces old templates of power over/under. In a lot of cases, there is fear about ending this relationship, but in my experience, it is the one way to bring the relationship into healthy balance and to give it room to grow. Of course, there is no guarantee that the relationship will take new form and I know that’s scary. But if it does, it will be so much more positive. Working together as peers is a different story and can be a very positive way to activate your mission.
- You feel terrible about yourself after you are with your twin. This is most likely not your twin but a false twin. Your twin flame and you will go through ups and downs. It is not always easy and can be gut wrenching and deeply challenging. But if you feel bad about yourself consistently, there is a toxicity to the connection. So taking a break and doing your self healing work is essential. Ending a false twin connection is optimal.
- You feel like manipulation is the way to help your twin move into union. Nooooo…..it’s true, the biggest changes happen when you meet your twin face to face and your energy connects. However, in my experience, being honest and clear about your intentions is essential. This takes courage. That doesn’t mean you over share with your twin or empty out everything onto your twin. But if you are contriving ways to meet and doing everything through back channels, its because things aren’t working in reality. For example, if you steal your twin’s agenda and then show up at her gym as a way to meet, the whole situation starts to smell off. Your twin feels the deception and it doesn’t ever feel good to be deceived. This creates cording of attachment which can feel overwhelming to the twin. It plays into runner chaser dynamics at a deep level. It takes power away from your twin and actually prevents him or her from seeking you out because they begin to feel so enmeshed and trapped. Your twin may start to fear you and to think you are stalking him or her.
- You think this is the only person who it is possible to be in a meaningful love relationship with. We are not meant to sit around waiting years for our twin flame to get it together. There is so much love out there. In my experience, if your twin flame opts out for one reason or another, an incredible soul mate will present him or herself when you are ready and it will not feel like settling. Sometimes we need another relationship to help us grow before coming together with our twin and sometimes that relationship is perfect for us and we stay there. There are other close connections worth exploring. I almost always see another love option being activated when things bog down and stall with twins. This is because your twin’s higher self wants you to be happy. There are so many forms and expressions of love worth exploring. When you do your own work on this path and are open, love will find you and it will be just right.
While in my view, we do plan out what our union will look like and how and if we will unite, that just doesn’t look the same for everyone. Some twin flames do not plan to come into union in this life time and some simply take on too much trauma and impediments and so must be flexible enough to chose their own well being and fulfillment over pursuit of a relationship that doesn’t have the roots for harmony. The idea that there is only one expression of fulfilling love in this lifetime is not the case. If your twin flame opts out, there is another spiritually evolved soul who will step forward.
So my goal is to assist you on your path to knowing yourself and identifying when is time to step off the twin flame journey and put yourself first. In truth, that is what you will have intended. For it reminds you, that you are here to be the most expansive version of yourself and sometimes the form that it takes is part of your transformation. We never really know where we will end up and that is part of the magic. We are all works in progress and sometimes joy creeps in to those newly created spaces and you are happy to be right where you are. Can you love who you are in every moment? Can you allow love? Can you hold yourself in sacredness and honour yourself for being present on this complex and profound journey?
In my experience as we move through the different waves of ascension, how union shows up is transforming. We are beginning to move out of purely romantic twin flame connections and we are seeing twin flames born into families and more platonic situations. So be open to how your union evolves and know you are worthy of the highest love and that is truly an inwards journey into you loving you.
If you find several of these red flags applying to you, you may be in a dark night of the soul, and if that is the case, know you are worthy of love and community. We have all been there. We have all fallen. If you need support, join Amar Kailas and I for our upcoming Twin Flame Healing Circle. If you need in person help, if you are stuck and feeling low, please consider a Twin Flame SOS session.
Love and hugs,